I had it all planned out. I’d quit my job, start a foundation to fund the political projects I believe in. finally get to take structure Hebrew classes, run a hundred miles a week, go out and spend a month in Hueco climbing every day. Get another degree for fun. It’d be great.
But alas, it didn’t work out. I did not win the lottery. Instead, I worked another seventy hour week. Such is the life of a working stiff. We try to find time for the things that bring us fulfillment, but the boss always wants more. We carve out time where we can and fight a rear guard action against bourgeois normalcy. We get up before the sun to fit in a run, we stay up late, with Nimet Habachy on WQXR keeping us company, and try to puzzle out the logic of Hebrew vowels. We take a sick pride in being really tired and we tell ourselves over and over that if you want an extraordinary life, you’re going to need to put in extra-ordinary effort.
So far this month, I’ve held on to my running streak, but hit another bump in the Hebrew study. Without a structured class , Hebrew will continue to an uphill battle. But with my insane work schedule, a class is pretty much out of the question. Running is easier –just do it a lot and you will get better. I don’t need anyone to correct my grammar when I run; I just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
It’s a struggle to try to fit all this in, and sometimes I feel like a crazy person setting these personal goals all the time. But that’s who I am. And I’ll carry on, writing when I can, studying and running when I can, and trying to stay interesting and alive in a world that seems desperate to bring my personal ambitions down to size.